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The ambition which-whether I was a hack-writer, a travelling portrait-painter, or an usher at a school-had once whispered to me: low down as you are in dark, miry methods, you are on the trail which leads upward to high places in the sunshine afar-off; you aren’t working to scrape collectively wealth for an additional man; you are unbiased, self-reliant, labouring in your individual trigger-the daring ambition which had as soon as counselled thus, sank dead within me finally. How our empathy, our principle of mind, can create a working mannequin of another person, actual or imaginary, and use our personal cognitive power to provide it a thought course of that generates its responses. For several days, I assumed all people in the varsity handled me in an altered manner. An obscure, monotonous life, wherein thought and spirit could also be laid asleep, never to wake again, is the one life I care for. So I caught to my low task-work; my penny-a lining in third-class newspapers; my translating from Frenchmen and Germans, and plagiarising from dead authors, to supply the uncooked materials for bookmongering by extra achieved bookmongers than I. On this life, there was one benefit which compensated for a lot misery and meanness, and bitter, biting disappointment: I could keep my identity securely concealed.
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